The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

Click here to read a very poignant Op Ed from the New York Times written by Jianan Qian, a fiction write from Shanghai, China.

Jianan Qian

Her dilemma is one that women from many cultures are afflicted with, especially as immigrants in countries other than our own.

It is very difficult to care for aging parents from afar, with distance, time difference, the loss of friendships and connections and the burden of new responsibilities in our new home communities and families.




Covered up


Today’s post is in support of our Muslim sisters around the world who celebrated Eid al-Adha this week.

Let’s talk Hijab.

For those not of the Islamic Faith, it may be difficult to understand the concept of the Hijab and indeed there are liberal Muslims who do not embrace it, but before we judge, we should know that many other religions and cultures also dictate a woman’s covering.

In Judaism, a woman’s head covering is called Kisui Rosh.

Some orthodox Christian denominations still expect women to have their heads covered during public worship and some Christian denominations also dictate acceptable everyday dressing for women,

In ancient Hindi practice, married women were expected to be veiled.

Some cultures nowadays allow a woman to choose, others are not so liberal, but nevertheless, even under oppression, there is an element of choice. And if a woman chooses to follow a culture, whatever her reason, we should respect that.

In this modern liberal world, where everyone just wants to fit in and be accepted, my first feeling when I see a woman declaring her Faith through her clothing is not pity, but respect.

My first thought is not “Oh poor thing, look what she has been forced to do” but rather, “Wow, it takes guts to be ‘different’ – power to you”

This is the same whether she is wearing a habit, a wig, Kisui Rosh, a hijab, an afro, scarf or turban. 

Whatever you wear, you are speaking your truth. And that is what matters.

Let us seek to understand, love and support each other.

Here are some interesting views on the Hijab worth watching.

Be inspired!



Fare Thee Well, Queen Aretha

Aretha Afro 1973

For a white East German woman behind the proverbial Iron Curtain, my mother sure had a wealth of knowledge and respect for strong black woman.

The African American Struggle was not unknown in East Germany and names like Angela Davis, Lena Horne, Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Mahalia Jackson, and Aretha Franklin were not strange in our home.

I grew up knowing Aretha as the Queen.

She was one of those voices you could always recognize. She effortlessly belted out notes others could only dream of hitting. And sang words that women only dreamed of saying.

I remember listening to a song once with my cousin and when Aretha came on in her full glory, he said “Ha! You know my girl!” Because you did! She always delivered. She never disappointed.

As a teen in the eighties, a lot of names became stories about what used to be. But not Aretha. Through the decades, she always remained relevant as she stayed seated….Elegant, Strong, Sexy, Beautiful, Powerful….on the Throne.

In the 80’s she collaborated with the greats of the time and stood her ground, winning Grammies and Top 10’s; she was the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame; her voice was legally declared one of Michigan’s natural resources,

In the 90s she performed with other Divas on VH1 and out shone them all; she sang one of Pavarotti’s signature pieces filling in for him without rehearsal when he was ill; she honored others and was herself honored at the Kennedy Center,

In the 2000’s she sang at 2 presidential inaugurations (by the way, she sang for Jimmy Carter in 1977 as well); she was given a well-deserved Presidential Medal for Freedom; she sang in front of Pope Francis,

Now, with her passing, articles talk about her private struggles and pain, which make her even more of an amazing human being to behold.

She has left us, but her songs will play on forever, on our radios, our playlists and in Heaven where she is undoubtedly out-singing the Angels right now being a SUPER-“Natural Woman”! (Okay, so that was a little corny but you get it :-))

I say my farewell here by sharing the following three videos from the 80’s. I chose them because, although I grew up hearing all her old songs, these are the songs that Aretha gave my generation at the time. And they were great! I am eternally grateful to have been born in a time when I could experience talent and grace such as hers. Rest in Peace, My Queen.

Sisters are doing it for themselves – With Annie Lennox celebrating Girl Power and Women’s Rights

I knew you were waiting – with George Michael. Two greats revered by the LGBT community and having a profound admiration for each other, a collaboration orchestrated by Clive Davis. (Read more about it here)

Freeway of Love – This song was the last of her 20 career #1 hits and earned her a 12th Grammy for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance. It doesn’t say so anywhere, but I believe this to be an ode to her beloved hometown, Detroit. The video was shot entirely in Detroit, showing the Ford Production Plant.