(AKA Pick up your baton and run)
(RIP Dolly and Gloria)
As a young girl growing up in Nigeria, I first heard Dolly Parton’s angelic voice in the song Love is like a butterfly, thanks to my cousin, with whom I shared many a dream of stardom.
Dolly’s sweet gentle voice touched me deeply and I wanted more.
And there was more…Here you come again, Jolene, My coat of many colors, all the big songs she was famous for and many others from the B sides of her albums. Her voice drew me in, and I always felt I had a connection with this woman I’d never met and most likely never would.
I got to know Kenny Rogers from his hit Lady in 1980. I was in love. I just knew I was going to marry this man. I bought every Kenny Rogers Album I could find.
That same year Dolly’s Album 9-5 and Odd Jobs came out. I loved the title song, but I didn’t know it was the soundtrack to a film. I only got to watch the film a few years later right about the time Islands in the Stream came out.
Seeing Dolly in the movie and performing with Kenny, solidified my love and admiration for her. She was beautiful, funny and had the most beautiful sing-song accent and charismatic stage presence. AND…she got to be on stage with Kenny Rogers!!!
I wanted to be her!
Yes, a little girl far away in Nigeria, wanted to be Dolly Parton.
Ok, I also wanted to be Barbara Streisand, Tina Turner and a few other people but who’s keeping track. 😉
The point here is that her aura, was so big and so pure that it transcended space and time to reach millions of people around the world.
I got to understand this better later on when I moved to America and was able to see and hear more of what Dolly was doing. It became clear to me that what made her so special to me was that she always lived her truth and that truth was Love! It shone from her every time you saw her.
She said as much in countless interviews, saying that she just wanted to share her love and make people happy. That was her mission in her songs and in everything she did.
She said she took her guidance from God and did not worry about the rest.
Even if she had never said these words, there is not one interview with Dolly you can find online that would make you doubt her sincere love for people and you cannot help but love her back.
She did not dabble in politics, keeping her opinions private, and without taking anything away from men, she was not ashamed to be a compelling woman who gave women a sense of freedom to be themselves, just like she was. She encouraged women not to be ashamed, nor silent, but to be proud and strong while being kind and loving.
Dolly was a great woman, setting an example of how we should live our lives. We do not have the BE Dolly, we can be who we are, but we should be ourselves authentically and whole-heartedly and most importantly, bring others along for the ride.
In the end, I did not get to meet her in person, but I had already met her in spirit a long time ago, all the way in Nigeria, Africa, when I felt her love through her voice. She became my good friend then, has remained a good friend and will always be one. 💗🦋💗
But then there was another butterfly whose wings gave way. Another passionate woman whom I had learned about in childhood. My mother, as a college student in post WWII East Germany, had learned about colonialism, the African American civil rights movement and the feminist movement. She taught me about Jazz, Gospel and the Blues. And she taught me about Angela Davis and Gloria Steinem.
Gloria did not sing in an angelic voice, but she spoke and wrote with clarity and determination. She was a force to be reckoned with, and she probably did instill a bit of fear in some men.
We had matriarchs in Nigeria, but in general, it was a patriarchal society. So, seeing a woman making a mark for herself in no uncertain terms the way Gloria did, was quite awe-inspiring.
She did not melt my heart like Dolly did, but she inspired me to believe I had the power of choice and that I had a say in my life.
Oh, I wanted to be like Gloria and Angela. Unafraid! Unapologetic! Bold! Speaking up for women! Saying what they mean and meaning what they say! And looking damn good doing it! To me, they were so sexy!
I was a shy, scared little girl who felt she had nothing to give the world. All I had to do was do as I was told and not rock the boat. Even saying that now, makes me think of a whole other essay I could write about what was expected of women in Nigeria at the time, and yet another essay about my difficulties since I did not fit into any of the molds that had been set. We will have to come back to that another time. 💗🦋💗
Dolly and Gloria, left the world within days of each other.
Both women represented the strength of the feminine.
There are already comments online pitching one against the other, but I can safely say that this is not what either woman would have wanted.
Both women empowered other women and strove for Equality for ALL.
They used different means, but they were reaching for the same goal. They both loved people, embraced all diversity, and understood the importance of womanhood and oneness!
If we are to honor these two great heroines of our time, it is not by looking for which of these methods was right or better than the other. We are not all the same, so we cannot all be reached in the same way. We needed both women, with both of their messages.
And what we need to do in honor of them is to carry forth the work they have begun.
Gloria Steinem said “the flap of a butterfly’s wing can change the weather hundreds of miles away” (borrowed from the Chaos Theory by Edward Lorenz) symbolizing the change each of us can make in the world.
And we all know what Dolly felt about butterflies. She identified with them as gentle, harmless and beautiful.
The butterfly connects these two women which is why the title of this piece had to have a Butterfly in it. But I had an alternative title in mind and that title is the message I leave us with today.
Our beautiful mothers are leaving us. But they have left with us the lessons they taught us. Lessons of divine feminine strength.
It is our turn now.
They ran their race and have gone on to rest.
But we are still here and the struggle still needs us. We need to spread the Love and share the Wisdom. So, let’s not sit back and hope someone else does it. The future of humanity is at stake.
It is time to rise up, find your purpose, your community, your message…pick up your baton and run!
That is the message that has come to me with the passing of these women, and it is the message I am passing on to you and to all women everywhere.
I, for one, have accepted my role in spreading the love, beauty and strength it means to be a woman, by sharing the stories of real-life heroines everywhere. (Subscribe and stay tuned) What will you do? Don’t hold back, do it!
Pick up your baton and RUN!!!
…until it is time to pass it on to the next generation of beautiful butterflies. 💗🦋💗
RIP Dolly Parton and Gloria Steinem! You will be greatly missed!
Video: Love is like a Butterfly
Video: Gloria tells Oprah how she wants to be remembered (My call to action)
Article: Nashville Airport to be renamed in Dolly Parton’s honor
The Woman Hood 